Tea and Crackers

💀 Daily Obit: Tea and Crackers 💀
He was cheesed off.
She’s completely crackers, painting with pin heads all bloody day, on tea bags no less.
He squared off – the confrontation brewing.
She sipped and smiled a hibiscus kiss at him.
You’re just a tempest, aren’t you love?
Cham’o’mil’ere ya, – have a cuppa –
As she split yet another tea bag, pinning it to the wall.
Daub hand she returned to her creations, whistling with the kettle.
He strangled her from behind, with the coffee grinder electric cord. In the ensuing struggle, her eyes bulging, he slipped on the slop pile of loose leaf tea, puddling on the floor, cracked his head on the granite counter’s edge – and was no more.
When questioned by police, Gypsy Rose Teazle, caretaker of the flats at 66 Brewster’s lane, replied, “I knew it would come to this, something not quite right with the miss, and poor lad just wantin’ a cup of coffee, with his mornin’ kiss – I foresaw this me self, read it in the leaves.”

©2017 Scribbler’s Dipstick

Curtain Rods and Ball Bearings

Darlene Draperis: Decor Stylist and Relationship Counselor for the Aged.
Obsessed with all fabrics chintz, voile, sateen, and sheer. Adores brocade. Delights in pleats and tucks. Mad about sconces, swags, tie-backs and plaids, and floral prints. Over-sized poufs and pillows, and shag carpeting are hallmarks of her inimitable style.
Velvet floor-to-ceiling drapes stir her soul.
She counsels her clients to consider the luxuriousness of an expansive sweep of crushed velveteen, “The key to a long-lasting marriage starts in setting the right ambiance in the bedroom; crisp white sheets, a mixed fruit platter, thick with peaches, plums, and sun-hot strawberries, set against a lush stage of cascading waves of velvet? Who needs pep pills? Trust me, you’ll be asking your man to ‘peel me a grape’ of a Saturday night, which wins out over Canasta any time.”
Mr.and Mrs. Draperis live in semi-retirement, in southwestern Florida; Mr. Draperis collects ball bearings.

©2017 Scribbler’s Dipstick

late•night lightning strike: idea: unusual blog title: curtain rods and ball bearings

synchronistic adventure: the daily post: farce